


Scarves don't stay on during sex

by SpunkySpaceCat



Series: RusAme Drabbles/Oneshots [2]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Abuse, scarf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-12-30 00:22:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12096633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpunkySpaceCat/pseuds/SpunkySpaceCat
Summary: After a rough night, America decides Russia's scarf should come off.





	Scarves don't stay on during sex

**Author's Note:**

> Slightly inspired by Valkori, but not a lot. I think. Also, this is really angsty and sad. Beware. Like, really sad. I think. IDK it depends on how you think.
> 
> MENTION OF SUICIDE, THOUGH NOT LARGE.
> 
> Hi this is a reupload cause I jacked something up hehe

"But why babe?" Alfred whined. 

"I already told you, I do not wish for my scarf to be taken off." Ivan responded with a slight huff. Alfred pouted. He and Ivan had just gotten off, which was perfectly fine, but during this session Ivan's scarf kept hitting his face. It was quite uncomfortable, having your ass rammed but a long scarf getting into your mouth. Quite unpleasant for the bottoming person. Alfred questioned why Ivan never took that god forsaken scarf off, but Ivan had just rejected everything he asked. Alfred pouted. 

"Do you not trust me enough Ivan? Is that why you won't take it off?" Alfred accused. Ivan just sighed and put his head in his hands. There was no escaping it. When Alfred wanted something, he would tear the earth apart to get it. But the thing was... Ivan trusted Alfred. The problem was that he trusted him too much. If Alfred saw what was under his scarf, he might leave. Leave Ivan. Alone. Just like everyone else. He was so scared that his lover would leave because of what he tried so desperately to hide. He did want to take his scarf off, he really did. But... He was so scared of rejection. It had been almost a year since they had started going out, but not once did Ivan take his scarf off. He hated himself for fearing rejection so much... He hated it. Hate. Hated it so so much. But he was so scared. So, so very scared of it. A tear appeared in the corner of his eye, and ran down his cheek. Another one soon followed, followed by more. Tears. Tears of hate and and love, and fear. 

Seeing this, Alfred knew he fucked up. A mixture of panic and worry flooded his mind. He stuttered over his words, trying to find something to say. Say sorry. Say stop crying. Say goodbye. Say anything. But he couldn't. He tripped over his own tongue. He was feeling quite panicked. Ivan never cried. Never. So to see him crying over a "trivial" thing like this really threw him off balance. He took a deep breath and hugged his boyfriend.

"I'm so sorry babe. If it's really that bad for you, I'm sorry for asking. I'm curious, but I don't need to know. If it makes you uncomfortable, I will not ask anymore." Alfred chose his words carefully, trying not to seem too assertive, and not too regretful. Ivan was a sensitive guy, and if you said the wrong thing, you would meet with death. Alfred had learned this from the first week of dating. Ivan sniffed and looked up. His eyes were bright red, his nose also red, contrasting against his pale skin. Alfred took the blanket and wiped his face, and released Ivan, caressing his cheek, wiping away the tear streaks. Ivan sniffed and put his head on Alfred's shoulder. Alfred stroked his hair. After a short while, Ivan finally spoke.

"I trust you, my sunflower. But that is the problem. I trust you too much. I am worried that if I take the scarf off, you will leave me. I have been rejected so many times because of my hideous neck, I have become distrustful towards others who want a glimpse of it. I am sorry. I did not mean to cry... It just came on impulse." He looked away. Alfred looked aghast after Ivan said that. A little offended, actually. Ivan thought that he would leave because of a stupid scarf? That was total bullshit. Alfred took Ivan's head, and buried his face into his chest.

"I can't believe you would think that babe. You should know that I would never leave you. Never ever. A hero will never leave his princess. I will not leave you because of a silly scarf. If you don't want to show me, I'm cool with that dude. I'm sorry I even brought it up." Ivan looked up with his striking violet eyes. Alfred released his grasp and Ivan sat up, and sniffed again. He wiped his eyes.

"You mean it?" He carefully asked. Alfred nodded his head vigorously. Ivan gulped and fidgeted with his fingers. 

"I need to go to the restroom... Do you mind waiting?" Alfred shook his head no and gestured. Ivan nodded his head and swiftly left.

Ivan sighed as he stared at the mirror. He hoped Alfred was true to his word. God, he so desperately hoped. If Alfred left him, Ivan would... He wouldn't do anything. But... If Alfred wasn't lying, then a great weight would be lifted off of his shoulders. He sighed, and upwrapped the scarf from the tight knot that held it. He looked at himself in the mirror, and he felt an insationable urge to punch it. He stopped himself in time. He folded the scarf into a neat pile, and laid it gently down on the little table. He found his clothes on the floor, and threw on his boxers, the other garments left forgotten on the floor. He took a deep breath and opened the door to the bedroom.

When Alfred saw Ivan open the door, five minutes after saying he had to use the bathroom, he was genuinely surprised. He was even more surprised as Ivan strode towards the bed, but for once his scarf wasn't trailing behind him. Ivan's neck was bare. Alfred gulped and patted the spot next to him. Ivan sat, and Alfred couldn't help himself. He stared.

Alfred wasn't going to sugarcoat it. Ivan's neck was hideous. Scars littered the pale skin. Burn marks lay gaping open, like craters on the moon. Several marks wound around, enunciating strange looking patterns that could only be barbed wire. A more prominent scar went all the way around his neck, which unmistakably looked like a hanging mark. But out of all the tiny scars, and the larger ones, there was one that stuck out the most. A large gash, that wrapped around the right side of Ivan's neck. There were several stitches on it, giving it a look that seemed like something Frankenstein would have. It was bright purple, and a small bit of orange blended in with a horrifying beauty. It protruded out, like a canyon. But the most horrifying part of it, was that there was still blood. It was a recent wound. 

Alfred gasped and stuttered again, trying to get out so many words at once, but once again failing. Ivan, his boyfriend, the person he loved the most in this damn ugly world, bear these hideous scars. Ivan, who was holding his chin up, now sank down sadly after he saw Alfred's reaction. He could tell that the American wasn't pleased. He lowered his chin, and curled up into a small ball. He was embarrassed. He was ashamed. He was so fucking scared. Alfred would surely leave him now. It was a mistake. Everything was a mistake. He should've just let bygones be bygones. Now Alfred would leave him because of his hideous neck. Everything he worked so hard for was ruined. Ivan could feel their relationship crumbling. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes, threatening to fall.

He stole a glance at Alfred. He did not expect what he saw. Alfred was bawling his eyes out, sobbing and sniffling and doing everything a crying person could do. Ivan was confused. Were his scars so hideous that Alfred was scared? It was certainly possible, especially after seeing the newest addition. He had gotten his most recent scar from his sister. Ah, but it wasn't her fault. Ivan's sister, Natalya, was a loose cannon. One night she had overdosed on some odd drugs, and it overtook her mind. She slashed Ivan's neck with a carving knife. His other sister, Katalya, was out of town so she couldn't do anything. Ivan just collapsed. Once sobered up, Natalya had driven him to the hospital. She had jumped from the roof later. But that was several months ago. Ivan had the memory stuck in his head, and it would never leave. But... He couldn't do anything about it. Until he met Alfred. 

It had become a habit to pick at the scar that Natalya left. It was the last thing she gave him. She had always been a little lost in her own mind, but she tried her best to make Ivan happy. So when she died, Ivan didn't register it immediately. He picked at the scar, until it was so raw that a wolf could smell it. He had to get therapy. But... that was all in the past. What mattered was the future. Ah, but his future may be doomed. Alfred was still bawling like a small child. Ivan reached over and patted his shoulder. He half expected Alfred to flinch away, but Alfred grabbed his arm and started sobbing into Ivan's neck. Ivan was thoroughly confused, but he just stroked Alfred's hair. Now it was Ivan's turn to stutter over his words. 

After Alfred seemed drained of tears, he looked up and hugged Ivan in the biggest hug he could muster, which was more like a tackle. Ivan fell over on the bed and looked away, embarrassed by the position they were in. Alfred just smiled and hugged Ivan again. He took one hand and ever so gently touched Ivan's neck. He could feel the Russian shudder beneath his touch. He leaned over in Ivan's ear and whispered,

"I love you so much." 

Ivan blushed and looked at Alfred, who was standing over him, like a statue. Alfred leaned down and laid his face down next to Ivan's neck, breathing softly on it. The foreign sensation of air on his neck made Ivan weary, but he sucked it up and let Alfred do his thing. Taking this as a sign of approval, Alfred took his finger, and carefully traced each of the scars. The small and the large ones. Each one had a different and unique story as to how they appeared, and Alfred wanted to savor each one. He traced the lines that looked oddly similiar to barbed wire. He traced the ones that looked charred, and burned. He traced the one that looked like a hanging. And ever so gently, he traced the one that was purple and ugly. But yet... Beautiful in its own way. After tracing every scar he could see, Alfred carefully licked Ivan's neck, which sent a jolt down his spine. Ivan tensed up, but after a little squeeze on the arm by Alfred, eased up.

Alfred did the same to each scar. He carefully licked it, up and down. Getting used to the sensation of raised areas, and the lower areas. He tried to memorize the pattern, up, up, down, down. Up. Down. Each scar had was carefully licked by Alfred, and to be honestly it was quite the turn on for both of them. When Alfred got to the recent scar, he violently licked it, causing a shudder to go down Ivan's spine. But Alfred didn't care. He started sucking on it, sucking hard. The sensation wasn't painful, but it didn't feel good either. It felt odd, very odd. Ivan was having his scars sucked on, and it wasn't exactly what he expected. But... He didn't mind it, so long as it was Alfred.

 

Alfred lay curled up in Ivan's arms, staring at his boyfriend's chest. It raised up and down, up and down. It wasn't panicky, it was a simple motion of a comfortable position. Ivan was staring down at Alfred's hair, trying to think of what to say. At the same time, but of them opened their mouths, but then quickly shut them and urged the other one to go on. Alfred went first.

"Ivan... Your neck is not ugly. Well it is. But what I'm saying is that it isn't something to be ashamed of. You have been hurt in the past, but those scars are a sign of your bravery, and how you survived. I'm glad you showed them to me, and I'm glad that you trust me. I love you so much babe, I would never leave you. Don't ever think that." Ivan smiled and buried his face in Alfred's hair. He breathed in the familiar scent of the sunflower soap he used every night, just to please Ivan. Ivan realized he was a fool for thinking that Alfred would leave him. His boyfriend loved him, he loved him so much. Ivan knew this. Alfred tried so hard, but Ivan was too blind to see it. Well, now his eyes were open. Ivan could see how much he loved his little sunflower. He could see how much his sunflower loved him. This experience would be one the both of them would remember for a long time. But it was good. It was a giant step further in their relationship.

"So what did you want to say, big guy?" Alfred finally asked. Ivan was too deep in thought to answer. Alfred just chuckled and kissed him. Ivan blinked and looked down, and saw his smiling boyfriend. That smile that could melt ice. That smile was so warm. It had done so much to thaw out Ivan's frozen heart. He was so grateful towards Alfred, no words could even get a glimpse of the feelings that Ivan felt. But actions could. Ivan squeezed his boyfriend and blew into his neck, making raspberry noises, something he knew Alfred loved. His boyfriend giggled and teased him, telling him to stop. But Ivan was too happy. He kissed every inch of Alfred's neck, sucking on every piece he could. He trailed all over the sensitive skin, kissing at his Adam's apple and sucking on it, all the while Alfred giggled like a child at playtime.

Alfred meant to ask how Ivan got the scars, but he decided that it was a question meant for another day. He rubbed Ivan's back and gave his ass a firm squeeze. Ivan smirked and kissed Alfred, but it was a quick kiss, filled with love, not lust. Alfred smiled and gave his boyfriend a kiss back. They both wrapped each other in their arms, and fell asleep, a smile on both of their faces. A smile of happiness and a longing for the other. But, a happy smile nonetheless.

 

End

**Author's Note:**

> fL UF Fy AnG St
> 
> Yes this was a much shorter chapter, but I had to write something. And it will be a little... Jumbled up per se. I have a really bad cold, and I don't really feel tip top. Apologies if it sounded weird.


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